Friday, June 3, 2011

Dr. Determination & Ms. Thighs

Hello All! This week has gone by pretty fast and that’s good for me because I’m ready for the weekend! I have a VERY busy weekend ahead of me but I think I’m going to get a lot done. I got on the scale today and I lost almost 5 pounds last week bringing me back to my lowest and then some!!! I guess my body was shocked by how little I was eating in comparison to the birthday and beach weeks and I am really headed in the right track! I have until the morning of June 17th to lose .2 pounds which shouldn’t be a problem as long as I remain strict. I was highly pleased to see the number on the scale this morning. It just goes to show that a little bit of effort goes a long way! Also, it shows me that it was TOTALLY worth it to have all of those cheat meals because it didn’t take me too long to detox…as long as you can go right back, I think that gaining a few pounds every once in awhile for a vacation, birthday or any occasion is fine as long as you go RIGHT back to eating healthy. There are no excuses to tell yourself you will just cheat one day longer than your trip or give up because you figure you’ve eaten bad 2 or 3 days in a row, you might as well keep going.

Today has been CRAZY HECTIC…My brain is totally over-stimulated. It’s not so much that I’m extra busy but that there are a gazillion random work, money, New York and other thoughts flying about a million miles an hour in my brain right now. My personality can turn on a dime these days. I can go from being nice and helpful to being irrational and enraged. I find Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde (hence the blog title) to be especially prevalent when it comes to eating healthy. One minute I am a stringent engineer of dieting. A perfectionist down to every detail and I am wholly bent on losing weight. Then, out of NOWHERE, a random and plentiful snack or pantry will appear and I will turn into a raving lunatic that is either on the verge of tears because I can’t have the food or a psychopath that turns into a Tasmanian Devil that eats not one item but 70…I get this hungry, crazed look in my eyes like I might actually eat someone’s arm off. It’s kind of scary to know how close to the edge I seem to ride. I feel like I’m always on the brink of some sort of meltdown. I know that’s not exactly inspiring so…I’m sorry about that…know that losing 102 pounds and finally seeing a tiny light at the end of the tunnel far outweighs the tendency to go back but…the truth is…sometimes…it gets like this.

Anyway, the truth is, I’m very satisfied and excited about the near future but I am also anxious because of money and time and other things…I know I will be fine and I need to calm the heck down! One day, I will stop letting my nerves get the better of me.

This weekend I am going to run some errands for myself and other people, do some cleaning and maybe sit down a few minutes on Saturday? I think I am going to Chattanooga on Sunday to visit my Grandpa. He just had open heart surgery this week. Everything went well but he’s still in the hospital so my dad and I may go up to see him.

Other than all that, y’all have a great weekend! Bye!

“I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Possibly.” Crazy-Gnarles Barkley

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