Thursday, January 28, 2010

Gettin' Out There!

Two things: First, why in the crap isn’t it Friday yet? Two, why couldn’t I have laid in my warm bed all day? Oh, that’s At least tomorrow is Friday...FINALLY. It has been a long week with lots of things that needed attention. It has also been a good week...I’ve had a good time with several of my friends and I will get to see them again tonight...and my the fun continues. I have also decided to plan out some writing times and get back in gear on this book of poems. Part of my little “lack of attention” problem I’ve been having while driving is that my mind is swimming in some sort of dream world. I can barely focus. I’ve got a million storylines and words and images up there right now and I think that is my sign that I need to get some of it out of my head. I realize how trippy that sounds...especially if you aren’t a writer...but imagine playing an instrument for over 5 or 10 years and then one day you just stop...surely there is a period of mourning and thoughts...that’s where I’m at. I need to get my priorities in order and finishing this book that I worked so hard on certainly needs to be one of poets, parents and pals beware...there may be poems coming your way for review (hopefully with a better use of alliteration than this sentence).

I have decided that I have got to “get out there.” This is a phrase that I use often. My Dad tells me that I should get out there and I want to make that a goal of mine. Sometimes I feel my writing “career”, spiritual and emotional life. Most of the time, I prefer to be alone. It makes me think a lot about the movie Up in the Air. Without spoiling it, I will just say that George Clooney’s character makes it a point to stress the lack of need of fulfillment from others. I love my friends and family and they are there when I need them but there are many times when I like to be at the Daily Show and go to bed. I reject affection a lot and I am constantly thinking that the person I’m hanging out with at the time probably has something better to do. Clearly, I have issues but I think my point is this...I or you can’t just sit around the house expecting the Nobel Prize for Literature and the left leaning, clean, Leonardo DiCaprio-looking husband to just fall in your lap. There is a moment in Up in the Air when the question is posed (this is a paraphrase), “Think of the best moments in your life, were you alone?” know what...I didn’t give this movie nearly enough credit because if I’m still thinking about it days did something right. The question makes me sad. No. I can’t think of many AMAZING memories from being by myself.

I am making proactive movements to change things. I think that Weight Watchers is one of them. Only problem is...losing weight doesn’t appear to be the salvation for all my problems. Perhaps when I reach my final goal I will feel differently but I really don’t think so. There are other things that I need to be satisfied. I mean REALLY satisfied. If I wake up 20 years from now and I’m totally detached and haven’t made any movements towards my passions...that will be the worst day ever. It’s never too late to start your life...I believe that but since I’m so young...why not start now? Anyway, I hope dieting isn’t my only key to success...especially after the hours of 5-11pm last night where one couldn’t tell I was on any sort of diet.

Anyway-perhaps it’s time to take my GRANDMOTHER’s advice. She once told me I might check out e-Harmony. Um, well, I am a believer that there are people that can find wonderful, lasting relationships over the internet...I’ve seen it happen. I don’t think I’m quite there yet...especially since I haven’t really tried AND since I’m sort of picky AND since I tend to get hung up on one possibility at a time. I’ll get the hang of it.

While you wait for me get a hold of all of this (could be awhile) should go see (or read, I’d like to) “Up in the Air” at the movies...LOL. Don’t disregard it right away if you think it’s slow or not Oscar-worthy...I did the same thing but obviously I liked it more than I thought I did!

Have a great night!

“When The Road Gets Dark
And You Can No Longer See
Just Let My Love Throw A Spark
And Have A Little Faith In Me

And When The Tears You Cry
Are All You Can Believe
Give These Loving Arms A Try Baby
And Have A Little Faith In Me

Have A Little Faith In Me
Have A Little Faith In Me” Have a Little Faith In Me-Joe Cocker

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Fatigue has set in on my body today. It’s weird because when I woke up, I felt fine but now I feel like I could go to sleep...anywhere. Too bad that’s not a possibility for me at this time. Here’s something is in fact NOT trivia night. Weird huh? We decided to go to another place in town that does trivia...they just do it on Thursday’s. We are just trying it out for a change in scenery. I mean, I love Buffalo Wild Wings but I have eaten there every Wednesday night for months reason not to give the other place a shot. I am getting all kinds of grief from my Dad about it though so I’m sure we will be going back to Buffalo Wild Wings again.

So, it turns out that I may need to get my car checked out for this massive recall going on with Toyota. Great. There's something else I need to deal with for my car. The recall is for the accelerators on 8 of their models. They have stopped all production and sales of the car until they get the problem fixed. Apparently, the accelerator sticks. HEY! Maybe THAT’S why I rear ended that lady...I had no control...hmm...there’s a thought. Evidently, it’s a pretty big problem that has caused accidents so I guess I should check it out. I usually just ignore recalls because it happens all the time to cars that I own but a sticking accelerator doesn’t sound like a fun problem to have.

It feels a bit odd not having any plans on a Wednesday night...looks like I may get to watch my shows live...that never happens. Last night, I saw Up in the Air with Stacey so I am making a little dent in my quest to see potential Oscar movies. I have to say that I did like it...I love George Clooney and it was a good movie...slightly depressing but you know...I don’t think it would be in the Oscar running if it weren’t “deep” in some way. Even though I did like the movie, I thought it had some slow parts in the beginning AND I am still comparing the movies I’m seeing this year to the batch I saw last year and I still haven’t seen any that compare. Avatar compares in a visual way certainly but the movies I saw last year (Milk, Slumdog Millionaire) were so compelling. I’m ready to see one that knocks me out of the park.

Gah! I am such a space cadet today. Y’all can’t tell but I have typed about one sentence every five minutes...I keep zoning out. It’s ridiculous. I don’t think anything fruitful is going to be coming from my fingertips today so I might as well give it up.

I have been doing good this week and what is sad is that I’m not thinking...oh...yay I’m almost at 55 or 60 but I’m thinking...OK...11 pounds until I get to by myself a new purse and/or some earrings. Woot...can we say inspiration?

“Hello World
How you been?
Good to see you my old friend
Sometimes I feel, Cold as steel
Broken like I'm never going to heal
I see a light, a little hope in a little girl, oh HELLO WORLD” Hello World-Lady Antebellum

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Is everything a lie? Seriously.

Today is a better day! I didn’t have an accident on the way to work so naturally, I had a better morning. What I am really excited about is the fact that Lady Antebellum’s new CD, “Need You Now,” is out today! I am already listening to it on my phone and I’m pretty happy.

I just really like their music. I’d like to thank Cassandra for introducing them to me a while back. I am definitely planning on seeing them when they come to Birmingham in a few months.

By no means am I happy that my friends and family are also experiencing car problems...because I’m not...but it does make me realize that I am not the only one on the planet that has bad days. Life happens. Just when you think there is a light at the end of the tunnel...someone takes a poo in it and you realize it’s not a’s a toilet. Hey-I think I made that up can use it. Anyway, every time I write another check or spend a Saturday night as a third wheel...I try to imagine those in Haiti or those right here in America who suffer double or triple the amount I I need to SUCK IT UP.

I think the fact that I have to give myself these frequent little pep talks indicate that I never listen to them.

I wanted to tell y’all about a story I saw on the Today Show a couple weeks ago. Here’s the link:

I would say the best summation of this report is from these lines: “A study of meals from 10 restaurant chains including Ruby Tuesday and Wendy's found calorie counts averaging 18 percent more than the values listed by the restaurants. Diet meals made by Lean Cuisine, Weight Watchers, Healthy Choice and others averaged 8 percent higher than the numbers on the label.” This is so enraging to me. I expect that from Wendy’s but the Ruby Tuesday thing really chaps my behind. I was so excited about some of their food based on their nutrition facts and that it all tasted really good...but 18%?! That’s ridiculous. I’m also devastated by the Weight Watchers & Lean Cuisine meals (for obvious reasons). I just don’t get it. After watching the piece, it said that all of these differences could add up to 16 pounds in a year! Basically, I could already be past 60 pounds if these nutrition facts weren’t blatant lies. This is so disappointing. Frankly, I have no advice on what to do about the frozen foods. I guess I will count them the same since I have no basis to change them. As far as restaurant food goes...use your best judgment. If you look up the nutrition facts and then go to eat the food and it tastes buttery or is a huge portion...chances’s more than what you thought. I guess I will try to only eat half of the servings at restaurants but count them the same since there is no way to tell. So-SHAME ON YOU: FDA, lying restaurants, and misleading frozen food companies. Booo!!!!!

Did y’all know that when you have a wreck, the insurance folks will straight up chase you down at work to look at your car? I didn’t know this. There is a dude coming to my work tomorrow or Thursday to assess the damage. This is kind of a long process. I hope I don’t have to drive my jacked up car for too long.

Have a great Tuesday afternoon!

“Show me that smile again.
Don’t waste another minute on your cryin’.
We're nowhere near the end
The best is ready to begin.

As long as we got each other
We got the world spinnin right in our hands.
Baby you and me, we gotta be
The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin’.

As long as we keep on givin’
we can take anything that comes our way
Baby, rain or shine, all the time
We got each other Sharin’ the laughter and love.”

As Long As We Got Each Other (Growing Pains Theme Song)- Steve Dorff & John Bettis

Monday, January 25, 2010

Not cool Monday...not cool.

Well-it certainly feels like a Monday. I was driving to work this morning and I stopped at a red light and when I thought it was time to wasn’t. I guess I looked away for a second and when I looked back I was ramming into the back of a Toyota Sequoia. I was only going about 3 miles an hour or something so she only had a scratch from my paint on her back bumper and my car...well...

I wish the picture did it justice. I’m sure I will need a new bumper and I’m worried the hood is messed up too. I’m glad for insurance but this $500 deductible is not going to be pretty. Remember that financial mountain I have been talking about climbing? Well, it just got a little more steep. Oh well, I guess there isn’t much I can do about it now. No one was hurt so I am happy about that. These things just happen I guess...I will just have to give paying better attention a try from now on.

That definitely put a damper on my mood. It’s one of those days where you wreck your car, then your computer messes up and so on and so on. Honestly, I don’t particularly want to be in a better mood right now. I’m content with the look of disgust that has decided to stay all day.

In other news, I lost 1.4 pounds last week and then cheat day Sunday was CRAZY. We’re talking cheeseburger for lunch, spaghetti and meatballs for dinner AND a cupcake...oh well...I’ve been really good today and I only have less than a pound before I get to 55!

My family and I saw Avatar last night and I thought it was really good! The imagery was amazing! The plot was you know...predictable in places but the movie is getting acclaim where it deserves and that is in the technical department. Wow!

Since I’m rambling now and since I don’t really have time to do a lengthy post today...I will say goodbye until tomorrow! Here’s hoping I have no more incidences tonight!

Friday, January 22, 2010


The doctor was not bad at all yesterday. I was in and out of there pretty quick, which is a miracle seeing as how you usually wait at least an hour to see my doctor. I got on the scale after insisting I take off my shoes and was only about half a pound more than what the scale at Weight Watchers said Saturday so I was fine with that. Hopefully by weigh-in time tomorrow, I will have gotten rid of that. He was very proud of me because I have lost 30 pounds since my last visit and said that he didn’t really have anything to fuss at me about. After that he asked me if I went to the Bama game in California...we talked about that for a minute and then I went on my way. I am starving today. I think it may have something to do with my coworker bringing in boneless wings for lunch. The smell is making me crazy. I am also not in the best mood...I got very little sleep last night and cannot WAIT for it to be the weekend...officially.

If I’m being perfectly honest, I really don’t feel like typing too much today so I won’t try to force it. I get to see Jordan tonight and I’m looking forward to a good weekend.

Also-thanks to the several of you that commented here or in other places that I would be a good mom in response to my blog the other day. That really made me feel awesome!!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and hopefully I will be more excited to blog next week.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Scales from the Crypt....

AHHHHH!!!!!! There is NOTHING more frightening to me than a scale. Before I started Weight Watchers in the summer, it had been probably 3 years since I weighed myself and looked at the results. I just knew that it would make me miserable and self-loathing. Even when I went to the doctor, I would be kind of nasty with the nurses about weighing and I would either NOT weigh or BEG them not to tell me what it said. Another thing they did was start off too low on the scale so they ALWAYS had to move the thing over a notch. I kind of thought they did it on purpose sometimes. I even broke down in tears in front of my doctor one time because I knew what I needed to do to be healthy especially since I have an underactive thyroid and a family history of diabetes...but I just didn’t want any more challenges in my life I guess. I was adamant about not weighing. I knew that I had gained all of my weight back from my Atkins Diet excursion but I had no idea that I had gained it all back...twice. I think in the back of my mind, I probably knew, which is why I didn’t want to weigh. Needless to say, when I finally got up enough courage to go to Weight Watchers...I knew what was coming. I had an estimation in my mind and I have to say I thought I was overestimating but I ended up hitting the nail right on the head. It especially was scary because it was someone else weighing me and writing it down.

The scale is a little less intimidating now because that initial number has gotten much lower and I try not to let the amount I weigh trump the amount I’ve lost. I also try not to weigh during the week at all because if you only give yourself 1 or 2 days to gauge weight loss, your results probably won’t be very accurate. I think my refusal to weigh had less to do with the number and who would see it and more to do with how it would make me feel about myself. I knew that once I saw that number, I would be forced to do something about it and I wasn’t ready and/or willing to change my life. I am now though. Sometimes, you aren’t lie to yourself and try to justify your actions...all indications that you aren’t fully devoted to losing weight. In my opinion, if you aren’t fully committed to losing the weight, you are going to feel THAT much worse when you mess up. I feel a little bad when I don’t eat the right thing but I know that I am 100% dedicated right now. I mean, that could always change but in this moment, I don’t want to quit until I get to my goal.

I brought this up because I’m going to the doctor today and I’m actually a little excited to weigh so he can see how far I’ve come. I can’t wait to tell him how I’m feeling and the progress I’ve made. There won’t be any tears today. Really the only question I want to ask him is what he thinks an appropriate goal weight should be for me. Listen, I am never going to be 125 pounds...I don’t care how much “they” say I should weigh for my height. I want a reasonable, healthy goal that is right for me and makes me look and feel great. I know that it will be a little scary because I’m nowhere close but at least I will know what I’m aiming for. Again, I’m trying to focus on the number of pounds I have LOST and NOT the number of pounds I weigh.

Wish me luck at the doctor today!!! I hope you all have a wonderful afternoon!

“I’ve got a cute face, chubby waist, thick legs, in shape, rump shakin’ both ways, make you do a double take.” Lose Control-Missy Elliott

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

You Gotta Eat!

This week is creeping by. It seems like it should be next Friday or something. It must be residuals from the 3 or 4 day weeks I had going for awhile in December/January. I babysat my friend Stacey’s kids last night. I really do love them and when I was holding her infant up and she was grinning so big...I thought...I can do this. Then...she cried...and had a poo up her back...and the other one wanted to play...and then I realized what I knew all along: I can’t do what Stacey does. IF I do ever have kids (forecast becoming more unlikely every day)...they will be over at Grandma & Grandpa’s as much as possible and they will be in daycare...yeah...just typing that serves as an affirmation. Now, I wouldn’t want to watch them for 8 hours or anything but I really do love my friends kids and I will always be willing to watch them a couple hours if I can...and I will hang up their pictures and drawings...but I will ALWAYS be willing to give them back.

I want to work on the intro into these blogs. I mean, I could go with a clever remark regarding the intended subject of my blog but sometimes...I don’t really have an intended subject. I also feel like I have to preface what I say with some of the goings on in my life. I’m not sure why I need to tell you that my fingernails are infected or every time it’s trivia night (which it is) but I feel like you should know. I guess what I’m trying to say is that despite my want to have a sexier first probably won’t happen. If you read my poems...the first line is sort of a strong point of mine...or at least that’s what grad school taught me. It’s the middle and end part that I’m not great at. As you can see, this carries on in the blog because I cheat and end the blog with someone else’s words. I guess, if you don’t care to know the immediate, daily details of my life, perhaps you could scroll down and look for a grabbing or witty line and start there. If you don’t think any of them are clever...pretend that one of them is and hopefully you will discover the crux of the message of that day. I will warn you though...there are days when I just ramble...hopefully you will be able to tell quick when it’s going to be that kind of a day. I have a point today.

Anorexia is NOT the new black. I don’t know...I thought it was clever. I know that reading Elle magazine may lead you to believe that using your toilet to deposit everything you eat by way of your mouth is the only way to look “heroin chic,” but that is just not true. Well, actually, it may be true. It seems that these grown women who are well under 100 pounds can’t possibly be eating anything. I’m sure that some of them are “naturally” thin and all but having watched my fair share of reality TV...the truth is...they are told constantly to be aware of their body and if they gain ANY weight...they know that their career could be in jeopardy. For us normal folks, obtaining a pale, sickly, grossly thin lifestyle can only come if we starve ourselves. I’m not just talking about Anorexia and know...your standard eating disorders that many people lose their life over. Today, I’m talking about diet programs that instill a “don’t eat” mentality to the consumer. Look, I’ve done different diets before...and most of them work but only temporarily. Any diet that strips your body of a vital component that it needs can only work for so long. I did the Atkins diet before. Robbing my body of carbohydrates and pumping it with fat and protein took the weight off but the second I started eating bread again...I inflated like the Goodyear Blimp. Also, it is proven to be very unhealthy. Any liquid diet is also bad...I mean...use your head...if you can lose 15 pounds in 3 days or CAN’T be good for your body. Honestly, I don’t even recommend those bariatric/medical weight loss places...especially if you are very overweight. You can’t go 90 to nothing and expect to keep the weight off. I mean, there are people that go from eating 3,000 calories in a day to 800 on these programs. That is not enough food for someone really overweight to eat for the day. Look, some of these programs work for people and that’s great. For me, fad diets don’t work. I may be losing weight slower than some because I cut down on food a little at a time...but I really think it’s least for me. I have to indulge from time to time and also teach myself how to eat and make better decisions. Please don’t starve yourself. I don’t always treat my body with enough respect so I’m not judging but just know that if you eat more balanced meals, it is way better than not eating at all. Plus, I don’t know anyone that WANTS to look like a skeleton. I included one picture/cartoon that I can relate to. Sometimes, I see someone in the mirror that doesn’t look anything like me. I see a caricature of myself...sometimes you have to shake that off. I also included a picture that I find HILARIOUS (and possible a tad insensitive).

Adios Amigos! American Idol is on tonight...thank goodness for the DVR...I’d be in a terrible pickle deciding between TV & trivia.

“Let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
And teach them how to dance
Let's get rich and build our house on a mountain
Making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I, you and I,
Well you might be a bit confused
And you might be a little bit bruised
But baby how we spoon like no one else
So I will help you read those books
If you will soothe my worried looks
And we will put the lonesome on the shelf.”
You and I-Ingrid Michaelson

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Tuesday I Get a Little Sideways

Tuesday feels like Monday today. Maybe it’s all the strange conversations I’ve had or the headaches I’ve been getting or the work I’m doing today...I’m not sure...but it DEFINITELY feels like a Monday. I have the urge to shop but I’m refraining...mostly. I may or may not have taken a peek at Old Navy’s site. I used to be an Old Navy addict but I cut up the card and quit cold turkey. I only go back there every once in a while. I get a little irritated with them though because they only have their fat clothes online. They used to have “plus” size options at their outlets but now those options are only available online. I think they use the term “Exclusively.” I’s one thing that you don’t want fat people in your store, but it’s a whole additional stab to my flabby back to act like taking the fat clothes out of the store is a special, exclusive treat. Fat people are just that...fat...not stupid. I also don’t like the implication that fat people would prefer to sit on their behind and order clothes that potentially may not fit because they are too lazy to drive to the store and try them on. That irritates me. If they weren’t one of the very few places offering affordable, plus size clothes, I would totally boycott them.

Tuesday Rant: Check. Now that I’ve done that...I can pose a couple of non-related questions to you all before I completely change gears. First, I know that I have discussed relationships and all that before. I was under the impression (due to several men that I’ve talked to) that guys don’t interpret every word that a girl says. In my experience, the girl is the one who reads into every word right? If there are any of you out there who have any comments let me know. It seems that in the past two days...everything I’ve said to someone has been interpreted in an unexpected way. Remember that episode of Friends where Monica asks Joey if he wants to come up for lemonade or something and Joey thinks that means she wants to sleep with him? Yah...something like that.

My second question isn’t really a question. As you know, I bite my nails AND it’s winter and that has sort of combined into some perfect storm for my nails to be infected.

You may not be able to tell in the picture but the darkish, reddish spots on the corners of my nails are some sort of infected blood blisters. I’ve had infected nails before but never to this extent. They are swollen and tender. I hate lotion but I’ve been trying to use it more. Also, when I put Neosporin and a bandaid on it the other skin was so dry that the place where the sticky stuff from the bandaid was got infected. Blech. Maybe a home remedy? I don’t know why I’m asking you guys never answer me anyway. I know there aren’t many of you...but just so you know...the questions aren’t rhetorical. Lol...I do talk to myself on a regular basis so I guess this isn’t any different.

Anyway-sometimes I find myself hungry, without a lot of points for dinner and really hating the thought of eating a bunch of veggies. Every once in a while...I let y’all know of some food discoveries that are filling that aren’t LOADED down with calories. I will say these foods are loaded with salt but so are the frozen lean if you want more food that is different and may try these.

First: Soup!

There are a lot of soups that you can eat that aren’t that bad and not just the Progresso zero or 1 point soups (which I don’t really care for). I chose the pic of this one because it is DELICIOUS. The whole can is 9 points I think and half is 4 or 5. It seems like a lot of points but it’s a huge bowl of soup and I usually have more than 9 points for dinner so you can have toast with it. Plus, it’s cheesy and it has chicken...I always eat cheese when I can since it’s so fattening.

Second: Sugar Free Popsicles!

You can sometimes have more than one of these for just one point. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather have a caramel Drumstick any day but these are a pretty good substitute. Get the combo pack so you can mix and match.

Third: Mickey Mouse Chicken Patties!

When I was trying to find a picture of this on the internet...I read a lot of bad reviews but I don’t care. I love these things. They are only 3 points, they are pretty thick and big and I REALLY like them with a piece of cheese on my whole wheat’s VERY filling. Who cares what shape it is...seriously. They also have hamburger patties in the Mickey shape. They aren’t as big and they are 4 points. They taste OK but I prefer the chicken.

Fourth: Chinese food

If you get one serving of beef & broccoli or chicken & vegetables, one serving of steamed rice and a cup of egg drop soup...I think it’s 7 points. The only thing is...don’t go and consider a serving a whole tub of rice like I do...I would say eat a little over half of the portion they give you if you are only going to count it 7 points and you should be good. It’s also something you can pick up quick so it’s good.

Fifth: New Jello Mousse!

This stuff is kind of whipped...they have a chocolate, dark chocolate and some sort of caramel I think. I’m not the biggest fan of any pudding and honestly, I bought this and the consistency is a bit weird to me but it has good flavor and it’s only one point. Basically, if you like pudding, you will probably like this.

That’s all for now...I will let y’all know every once in a while when I discover new foods. Have a great Tuesday!

“Don’t tell me you agree with me, when I saw you kicking dirt in my eye.” Black or White-Michael Jackson...I’m not sure how that’s relevant...just like the line.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Grab some popcorn! It's Oscar season!

Well, you guys aren’t going to believe this. I went without weighing from December 18th to January 16th. In that month, I ate like a fiend because of Christmas, New Year’s and other random days that I justified cheating. Somehow, I managed to lose 2.6 pounds bringing my total to 52.8. I am kind of paranoid because I feel like when I go this Saturday they will tell me they were just kidding and my real weight will be revealed. I also feel like I’m on some sort of tight rope. I couldn’t exercise this morning because my gym is closed due to the holiday and I cheated a little on Saturday in addition to my normal Sunday cheat day so I’m a little on edge in fear that my totally unwarranted holiday weight loss is just a fluke that can be revoked.

Aside from no exercise today, I’ve done really well and plan to be full on this week. Maybe I will get down 60 pounds quicker than I think. I hope this is true since I decided to put a moratorium on purse and earring buying until I get to 65 pounds. What if I get to 65 and then gain a pound the next week? Do I then have to return the purse? I hadn’t thought of that. I apologize sincerely for the digression.

My mind is buzzing with things other than my quest to achieve ITC (Inner Thigh Clearance-I wish I could take credit for that one). I’m all aflutter with TV and movies. I get very excited about American Idol which I probably won’t discuss until all the ridiculous people are off and I can truly pick some favorites. Also, with the exception of 5 episodes of Brothers & Sisters and 1 episode of Big Love, I am all caught up on TV. I watch A LOT of TV. My favorites tend to be the dramas on ABC, comedies on NBC and then most of my other shows are on Comedy Central, Food Network, HBO or Showtime. Honestly, if all I did were watch TV, I would invest my time in the current hits like Mad Men but I just don’t know where they would go in my schedule. I mean I work, try to maintain a meager but existent social life and I don’t have time for House, 24 or Dexter. I wish I did. I wish I could get out of bed in the morning, work out, watch the news, write for a few hours and then pollute my mind with TV at night...but I got bills. ANYWAY.

I say all this to tell you that it is time to start thinking about something other than TV...and that is movies. Last year, Jordan and I saw every movie nominated for best picture as well as all of the ones where the actors/actresses were nominated. You wouldn’t think that this was that trying of a task but when you live in Alabama, you have to search for the more independent movies. I’m pretty sure we saw three movies in one day one weekend. I really enjoyed making informed decisions on favorites even though I found that I was impressed with all of the movies (my clear favorites were Milk and Slumdog Millionaire)but all in all it definitely made the Oscars a better experience.

This year, I don’t think I have seen any of the movies. I take that back...I have seen Julie & Julia...which I really liked but I think there will be better ones. Only problem is, I can’t seem to get motivated to go see all of these. If I’m being honest...I kind of MAYBE even wanted to take somebody’s kids to see the Alvin & the Chipmunks movie. I’m not usually interested in kids movies but those chipmunks are just so darn cute in the previews. I mean...look at this preliminary list of movies that I got from Jordan that might have a chance of nominations.

(500) Days of Summer
A Serious Man
A Single Man
An Education
Crazy Heart
District 9
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Inglourious Basterds
Julie & Julia
The Blind Side
The Hurt Locker
The Last Station
The Lovely Bones
The Messenger
Up in the Air
The Road
Me And Orson Welles
Where The Wild Things Are
Bright Star
It’s Complicated
Star Trek
The Informant!
The Young Victoria

Out of those I’ve seen Julie & Julia and Where the Wild Things Are. I guess my point is that I am not sure I will be able to see ALL of these before March. I know I want to see Avatar, It’s Complicated and Up in the Air but other than that...I’m not sure where to start. Have any of you seen ANY of these movies? If you have...what were your favorites? Any suggestions on where to start?

I love movies so I look forward trying to get in as many as’s just a matter of making myself do it.

I didn’t mean to talk only about this today but clearly...I did...a lot. Oh well, have a great evening!

I appear to be in a musical mood lately and even though there are some Mamma Mia naysayers out there (Ahem, Mom) I like it...

“If you change your mind, I’m the first in line
Honey I’m still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down
If you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I’m still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try
Take a chance on me
Take a chance on me!”
Take a Chance on Me-Mamma Mia/Abba

Friday, January 15, 2010

A Friday Ramble

Truth be told, I literally didn’t expect it to ever be Friday again. It was as if I had so much time away from work during the latter part of December and beginning of January that I just flat out wouldn’t have a weekend off again for awhile. It turns out, that’s not how the calendar works. That’s good for me because I would really like a couple days off.

Lemme tell y’all what ridiculous thing I did last night. So-it is in my nature to lock doors behind me everywhere I go. It’s just an obsession of mine. Last night, I walked out on my patio, without my keys, and locked the door. Yes, I definitely locked myself out of my apartment and was trapped on my second floor patio. Luckily, I had my phone with me and I was able to contact the security people at the apartment but I was out there for about 40 minutes. I felt SO SO SO stupid! I mean, I’ve had some stupid moments before but that one was just embarrassing. Oh well-no harm, no foul I guess.

Tomorrow is weigh in day! *CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC* It has been almost a month since I last weighed in and I’m a little nervous. According to a couple of scales I didn’t gain but the Weight Watchers scale is always a little bit different. If I didn’t gain weight, it’s truly a miracle. I mean, I wasn’t bad for a whole month but I’d say I was only good half the time and I was never REALLY good...but when I was being was really bad. I did maintain exercise though and I think that helped. Also, I have been a poster child for good this week. I exercised 4 out of 5 days, had plenty of water and counted all my points. We will see what happens...I will be excited to report.

I don’t know if you guys know this or not but I have an obsession with purses. I buy them quite frequently. I JUST bought 2 less than a month ago. My favorite place to go is CharmingCHARLIE:

I swear...sometimes I wish this place never existed in Tuscaloosa. Of course, it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all right? Anyway, I had decided that I needed a blue purse. Yes, I said need...I decided this two days ago but I was trying to show self control and not go at all...I lasted 2 WHOLE days. I went over there and the place is divided by colors and of course the blue one I wanted was the most expensive but...I had to have it:

There was also this green purse that I REALLY loved but I didn’t let myself get it. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t buy any clothing or accessories until I’m down 65 pounds...which is about 15 away so I may have to either change that or starve myself. Just least about the starve myself part.

There is this new site called Face in Hole or something. Anyway, it takes your picture and puts it in another picture with a celebrity or anything really. I made a few of these. I’m sure you won’t be able to click the links to see because the Insert Link function on this blog hates me but maybe you can copy and paste these below. I made one of me, my mom and my dad. They are pretty funny.

I’m sure they will appreciate that. LOL. I thought they were funny.

I should go ahead and warn you that I have moved from football to American Idol so there may be some comments and campaigning here and there until the winner is announced...from one obsession to another.

Going to gymnastics tonight and Jordan is coming to town! Happy Friday Everyone!!!

“Once I was a selfish fool
Who never understood
I never looked inside myself
Though on the outside, I looked good!

Then we met and you made me
The man I am today
Tracy, I'm in love with you
No matter what you weigh

Without love
Life is like the seasons with
No summer
Without love
Life is rock 'n' roll without
A drummer”

Without Love-Hairspray

Thursday, January 14, 2010

My Hips Don't Lie!

If you would like to help in the efforts for Haiti, I think the best site to go to right now is If you click “Learn More” from the home page, it provides several ways to send help including text, phone, mail and online payments. I think they have already raised over a million dollars just on their text campaign alone. I texted mine...which kind of made me nervous...I’ll let you know if anything screwy happens...but it is an approved way by the government and they would never steer us wrong...right? Lol...anyway...provide help if you can!

Trivia didn’t go so hot last night. I think we must have been a bit cocky after our last time playing when we won and also...the questions were really hard. Whatever. It was fun. I am so tired today for some reason. I am convinced that it is because I didn’t exercise this morning. Every time I skip the elliptical I usually end up drained the whole day so I’m thinking there is definitely a connection.

My productivity level has been pretty minimal lately. I have actually increased my work production but as far as cleaning, reading and’s a downward slope. I keep staring at my bathroom counters...morning after morning thinking that I need to clean them and then when I come home, I spend the majority of my time catching up on TV. I have to say that I am VERY behind on TV. After a week in Kentucky and 3 days in California and spending all of November preparing for graduation, I got VERY behind on all of my shows and even though it seems really stresses me out. It just proves that I am invested in far too many shows. On top of that, American Idol is back on. I need to spend all day Sunday catching up on TV so I can start investing my time in more important things OR so I can find something else to blame my procrastination on.

I am going to the first home gymnastics meet on Friday night here in T-town. Don’t get me wrong, I like gymnastics but I have to say that I have quite a “large” problem with the size of the seats in the coliseum versus the size of my behind. There are many cases these days where seats don’t provide NEARLY enough space for your average, overweight American. Recent examples would be airplane seats, stadium benches (particularly at the Rose Bowl) and the seats I will sit in Friday at the gym meet. I have to say that before I started Weight Watchers, the battle I faced each time on an airplane was sort of embarrassing. I never needed a seat belt extension or anything but it was not comfortable. It is much better now after I have lost some weight...I even have room left to pull the belt tighter. As far as sporting events go...I’m not sure if as a nation we are just like...double the size we were when all of these stadiums and coliseums were built but it sure seems like the seats in these places planned on anorexia really taking off. It is especially bad for me in the coliseum. I think it is because the chairs have arms and maybe they only planned on men going because...I have sizable ones and it’s a pretty snug almost hurts to sit in them. Anyway, the goal of this confession of mine is to raise awareness of the poor fat people that have to get two seats or belt extenders on airplanes or those that have to limit their sporting event intake and also to raise awareness of the fact that as a nation...we need to lay off the fast food because at some point, these seat sizes were meant for the “average” sized human. Just saying.

I am excited to see Jordan this weekend and to do some strategizing with him and my folks on our upcoming Paris trip (which I’m very excited about so I included a pretty picture). Sounds like a good weekend to me!

"I don't think you're ready for this jelly." Bootylicious-Destiny's Child

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Uphill Battles

Before I start...I would be remiss not to mention Haiti. I hope that you keep them in your prayers! I will give you info on any site that I hear of that has good advice on ways to help them!

Remember yesterday when I told you that there were parties two days in a row at work? Well, yesterday, I did have a few strawberries dipped in the chocolate fountain but nothing major went down and I counted all of my indiscretions. Today, I haven’t even approached the party table though I did see aluminum foil which usually indicates a cake and mustard which usually indicates some sort of pig in a blanket...but...NO MATTER...I’m FINE. Plus, I don’t need pigs in a blanket...I just had a swine flu shot and for some reason that combo creeps me out. I had a granola bar and I gotta save up for trivia tonight which I totally miss by the way...should be a fun time.

Do you all ever feel like you are climbing an uphill battle in your life? I think that was probably a stupid question but there are issues happening in my life where I feel like I’m trying to climb this HUGE mountain and every step I take, a giant rock tumbles down on my face. Do y’all remember the show GUTS on Nickelodeon? The kids would compete and at the end they would climb up this thing called the AgroCrag or something and as they went up these huge foam boulders would fall on them. That’s what I feel like sometimes.

For the most part, my life is mostly unscathed. I have a good job, family and friends but there are two major “mountains” that I am climbing that seem to have no end. I like tasks that I can finish, bills I can pay...little...hills if you will.

First, I have student loans. I don’t know how many of you have this problem and I it seems like I complain about it a lot but it is certainly a mountain in my life that I feel like I may never reach the top. So-I put money on it here and there but for what? I never make progress. It will literally take my whole adult life to pay these things off. The thought of that is such a burden because there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Another mountain I have which DOES have a light at the end of the tunnel is losing weight. I realize that is the elephant in the pun intended (though I don’t really believe there are unintended puns). I have lost 50 pounds (pending a very scary weigh in at the end of the week) but there is always some sort of event or scale or mirror hurling giant rocks at me from the top-pushing me down. I know life isn’t supposed to be easy and what doesn’t kill us is making us stronger and all that...whatever. I want to enjoy life without worrying that the food or drink I consume will kill me...romantically, mentally, physically...whatever. Not to be cynical, but sometimes people do everything right and they still get do we find motivation?

We look to the future. We look to the deepest truth. I feel happier when I’m healthier. I will get by somehow even when it doesn’t feel like it and I have amazing people on my side.

I apologize for the campy flare this blog has today but that’s where I’m at. I am not going to stop pushing upwards.

” The storm is coming but I don't mind
People are dying, I close my blinds

All that I know is I'm breathing now

I want to change the world
Instead I sleep
I want to believe in more than you and me

But all that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now”

Keep Breathing-Ingrid Michaelson

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Trying new stuff in 2010

I never thought that I would say this but I’m ready for winter to be over. I love the cold weather and I really can’t stand Alabama summers but this whole freezing my behind off in the morning thing is getting old. My windshield wiper fluid won’t get unfrozen and it takes forever for my windows to defrost. On top of that, the static electricity is out of control for me this time of year. As my mother ever so sweetly pointed out, my hair sticks up like Einstein and everything I touch about shocks me to death. I don’t think I’m the only one with this issue but you know how I love to complain.

I can tell I’m in a bit of a snippier mood than usual. I am pretty sure that I know the culprit of my nastiness: dieting. I started yesterday and other than cheat day, I will be going strong every day. Most of the time I’m fine but there are little things that piss me off. For instance, there is a party today AND tomorrow at work which means my nose will have to endure sausage balls, cake, chips, salsa, pigs in a blanket and a chocolate FREAKING fountain. Also, I am going to Alabama’s gymnastics meet on Friday and I was all amped up for nachos. I don’t know why I thought I would get them OR deserve them for that matter but...I totally don’t. So-getting used to refusing good food after this indulgent holiday season is not going to be easy.

I also started a newish exercise plan. It’s all about pushing yourself right? When I first started on the elliptical, I would do ten minutes, then fifteen and so on. Each time I felt too comfortable, I would increase my time by 5 minutes. I had gotten all the way to 35 minutes when I realized that even though I was increasing my time on the machine, I wasn’t really increasing the amount of energy I was using. It all seemed very easy to me. I could go whatever speed I wanted which usually meant that I would go about 2.4 miles in 35 minutes. I decided that from now on, instead of using time, I would use distance. I told myself that I couldn’t get off the machine until I had gone 3 miles. I started yesterday and once I realized how long it was taking me, I sped up significantly. It took almost 42 minutes but it was a much better workout because I was trying to hustle so I could get the heck off the thing. Today, I did the same thing and I would say I shaved almost a minute off my time. It doesn’t sound like much but the more and more I do it, the better I will get. When I feel like 3 miles is too comfortable, I will up it to 3.5. I think that may be awhile though. In case you were wondering, I’m sore and I felt like I got a really solid I think my plan is working.

I like trying new things, especially since my weight loss has slowed down. I’m really anxious to weigh in on Saturday because it will have almost been a whole month. I am not sure, but I don’t think I have gained too least not according to Cassandra’s scale and my Dad’s hopefully it won’t be that bad. I want to blog again a year from now and have lost between 60-65 more pounds. I know that seems far away but I am completely determined to make it happen. Despite my grumpiness and need for nacho cheese, I really do want to be healthy more than I want to disappoint myself and go back to my old ways so I am going to put the last 30 or so days behind me and get ready to pout sometimes but hopefully celebrate when I have good days at Weight Watchers.

Anyway-Here's a picture of me and my current hair:

I found out a little while ago that Alabama has decided to celebrate their victory in the stadium instead of having a parade or a walk of champions. Um, that kind of sucks. I would love to see a parade and watch the players and band go by. Also, to park and walk to the stadium doesn’t really tickle my fancy much. I think I will probably still go but I hope they reconsider.

"When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why


The remedy is the experience.
This is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that it's serious.
This is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
When it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won't worry my life away."

The Remedy-Jason Mraz

Monday, January 11, 2010

National Champs!

I’m sure you are all happy to know that I made it home safely and I’m sure you are even more excited that I am done talking about football for awhile after this post. I am already missing it but it was an AMAZING year! I am SO glad that I was able to go. I posted some pictures below and I figured I would tell you about the highlights of my trip before starting the regular “talking about dieting stuff” tomorrow and by the way...I’m hungry which means I’m back on the wagon.

When I got to San Diego on Wednesday night, everything had gone without a hitch. I even got my rental car with no problems. Then...there was the hotel. I should have known that the name Good Nite Inn wasn’t going to look like the Ritz and truth be told, I probably should have paid attention to the hotel rate when I got my package (I later found out it was $37 a night). The point is, I got there about midnight and had to walk around to the back of the hotel to get to my room. When I finally got in there, I heard a thumping party going on upstairs, the boxed air conditioner was literally hanging crooked on the wall and falling apart, there were black stains on the carpet, holes in the comforter and sheets and mildew in the bathroom. I was completely freaked out and I had a minor meltdown. I decided that as soon as I got up in the morning I would get a room at the Hampton Inn next door. I got in the bed fully clothed and slept about 3 hours before I got the heck out of dodge.

I vowed to have a good day Thursday so I grabbed some food at this Mexican place I had eaten at the last time I was there and drove directly to Pasadena. I spent the day tailgating and the night watching Alabama win the National Championship. I had an awesome time and I’m so glad I went. I didn’t leave the Rose Bowl until about midnight, took some friends back to their hotel and then had a two hour drive back to San Diego where I would basically take a 2 hour nap in my new, improved hotel. That drive was probably the scariest part of the trip because I was extremely tired but I made it back and was at the airport by about 6 to catch my first of three flights that day.

I think I estimated that overall I flew about 12 hours and drove about 10 but again, it was worth it. It was a very memorable experience and I am very grateful to everyone who made it possible!!!

So-enjoy a few of the pictures that I took and tomorrow I will discuss my sad, post-holiday return to granola bars and mayo-less sandwiches!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

California-Know's How To Party

Clearly, I’m very excited about travelling to Pasadena tomorrow. Technically, I won’t be in Pasadena until Thursday but my first leg of the trip begins tomorrow at around lunch time when I will drive to Chattanooga. Chances are, I won’t blog until I return on Monday but rest assured that when I do get back I will share all of the pictures and stories and I will probably be in a wretched (rechid if you’re Jordan) mood because I will be tired and doing Weight Watchers full on with no Christmas or New Year’s holiday to look forward to. The cheating will be over for a few months. It’s what I need...I might need some sort of detox or rehab program to shake loose all the fat I’ve been eating so I don’t have tremors or something.

Prepare yourself for me to be incredibly corny in the next picture/paragraph.

I know that you have seen these commercials. “Because you’re worth it” is almost a household phrase. I rarely pay attention to commercials but I was listening to a song the other day that reminded me of it...and I thought to myself...yah...I am. I have this complex where I am constantly worried that I won’t be pleasing someone. Everything I do, I try to think of the complete scope of my actions...who will be affected and then I wonder what actions I’m going to take if someone is mad or upset. I think this is a good trait overall but sometimes I take it too far. There are times when I go so far as to think that I don’t deserve things. For instance, I’m taking this huge trip. Some people are very happy and some have given me a hard time about it. Mostly, I think they are jealous and just giving me a hard time but it made me think...who am I to pick up and leave for California? The truth is though, why not me? Why can’t I treat myself? I think this about relationships too. Actually, this is where I have the most trouble. I think there are days that I would settle for the first guy with a job and clean teeth. I shouldn’t have to settle. I am WORTH someone who will actually step up and ask me out and will like me for who I am. I am sick and tired of being the victim of worrying about mixed signals and stupid things. If a guy likes you...he will “make it happen.” I should have never watched “He’s Just Not That Into You” because it has really riled me up. The truth is, I think weight is a factor when a guy likes a girl. Guys may pretend that it doesn’t matter does. A lot of guys will rule a girl out if she isn’t thin. I would argue that is MUCH easier for an overweight guy to find a girl than the other way around. ANYWAY-that is a digression but I have dealt with this my whole life. I can’t just go into a bar and pick a guy up...even now that I’ve lost 50 pounds. I guess that’s not true...a guy hit on me at new years but in general if you come up to me, lick your lips, and go: “Whatcho name is?” I won’t be interested. The point is, I am sick of pining after guys that are either shallow or stupid and unwilling to ask ME out. I know that it’s the 21st century and that I should be more aggressive but I have put myself out there before and it hasn’t worked out and I’m just not going to do it anymore. Also, I’m a little picky...some may even say snobby. I don’t think asking for a spiritually and politically open minded, career and hygiene oriented guy is too much to ask...oh and I like them older too (not too old...not closer to my parents age than mine or anything). Something about a guy my age or younger makes me want to scream...most of them are very immature. I have rambled as usual but I think you get the point-YOU ARE WORTH IT! Whatever you are wanting...don’t think you don’t deserve it because you do and if that person or anyone else doesn’t get that...then...eff em.

I almost apologized for ranting about what seems to be an obsession about relationships or my lack of them but I think an apology for being myself at this point would sort of defeat the purpose of the whole message.

I would like to say HOLLA to Jodi. She is a buddy of mine from work and she is reading now. I don’t see her on the list...maybe it takes a little while but WELCOME all the same!

Question for you all: They are offering swine flu shots at work next week for $10. What do y’all think about them? Because Dr. Nancy Snyderman says that we should get one and that the benefits outweigh the risks AND because I pretty much love her...I am thinking yes. Anyone disagree? Thoughts either way?

Well, hopefully the next time I blog I will be bragging about Alabama’s 13th national title and relieved that I wasn’t delayed, snowed in, mugged or beaten. Keep me in mind the next few days please! Also, keep California in mind...there are 100,000 southerners headed their way. I appreciate it! Roll Tide!

“All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray, I’ve been for a walk on a winter’s day, I’d be safe and warm, if I was in L.A. California Dreamin’ on such a winter’s day.” California Dreamin-Mama’s & The Papa’s

Monday, January 4, 2010

2010...however you say it is fine with me.

Well, it’s 2010 y’all! Do you feel different? Me neither. First, I would love to thank my WONDERFUL friend Nish for following my blog. I found out that she was reading pretty regularly and I may or may not have told her she had to follow me officially or she wasn’t allowed to read anymore. Shameless, I know, but when it comes to the’s more about the numbers for me. I am mostly kidding but there is a part of me that rather enjoys seeing a new follower even if they are my friend already or even if I had to set up the account for them which is where at least 2-3 of my followers came from. My old pastor used to say that numbers didn’t matter. I call BS. Of course a pastor of 20 congregants would say that. He would say that all the time and yet feel the need to say where everyone was every Sunday that didn’t show up. That’s part of the reason I don’t go there, in such a small church, if you aren’t there...people know...and they call you and then suddenly the phrase, “I didn’t freaking feel like coming” doesn’t sound like the best thing to say and you end up lying flat out and make up some bronchial disease and then they put you on the prayer list. Not that I have ever experienced that before could happen. Also, sorry for the run-on sentences...not just in this paragraph...but in every’s how I roll.

I brought in the new year with my people. It wasn’t the most exciting new year’s eve because I was tired from trivia night the night before and frankly, it was way too crowded at the bars...but I was with Jordan and Whitney and that made it great! I also went to a birthday party on Saturday night (where I called Nish out for not following me) and it was SO much fun! The house looked amazing and the hostess was right on with food and such. Also, there was karaoke and it was pretty hard to tear me away. There is a slight chance that I busted a pretty awesome rhyme at the end of TLC’s “Waterfalls.” It was least for me...

I listed some resolutions on my last post and I think I will stick with those but I would like to add just a couple more immediate ones that came to me on Sunday. I would like to make my first resolution quickly as it pertains to my safety while on my trip to Pasadena. I want to resolve to be extremely as to not give my mother a heart attack and I want to come back in one piece...boasting a national championship of course. I would also like to stop saying that I hate people so much. At this present time, there is only one person in my life that I use that word for excessively...but admittedly...I mean it. Every time I say I hate something and I’m around my mom she goes, “Now, we don’t say hate.” That phrase alone is worth giving up the word. But seriously, I say that I hate people and things a lot and with the exception of the person I mentioned above...I don’t really mean it. There is already enough hate in the if you hear me say it...don’t say anything...I will make a mental wouldn’t want me to get upset. Also, I’m working on not actually HATING the one person that I do...but I won’t make any resolutions regarding that...I want to at least have a chance at keeping the resolution.

It is extremely cold here. I mean, it’s not in the single digits but for Alabama, it’s freaking frigid. I took a picture of an icicle hanging off of someone’s car at work. I also posted a picture below of me in my very warm penguin hat that my parents got me. One of the balls fell off already but hopefully my mom will fix them for me (sorry if you have already seen the pic on facebook). I love the cold weather but I have to say that the wind has been a bit much for me.

I guess I should mention food...that being the purpose of this blog and all. I have been a good girl today. I think, once again, that I have confused the crap of my belly. I ate a hamburger and mac & cheese last night. It was my brother’s birthday. My stomach has not been right all day. Then I had a very sub-standard salad for lunch...the lunch date was fun but the food reminded me strangely of being on Blech. I get one more rendezvous with yummy food and then THAT’S IT! Well, at least until I go to Paris. Mostly, I think I’m ready to be back on the bandwagon...I was just getting used to it...and people noticing the weight loss ain’t too shabby either.

Bundle up out there-I did!

Also, I'm in a song lyric posting mood so from time to time I may put a lyric or quote at the end of the blog that gives a slight indication of my present mood.

"Cupid works for the devil..." Amy Dalley