This week is creeping by. It seems like it should be next Friday or something. It must be residuals from the 3 or 4 day weeks I had going for awhile in December/January. I babysat my friend Stacey’s kids last night. I really do love them and when I was holding her infant up and she was grinning so big...I thought...I can do this. Then...she cried...and had a poo up her back...and the other one wanted to play...and then I realized what I knew all along: I can’t do what Stacey does. IF I do ever have kids (forecast becoming more unlikely every day)...they will be over at Grandma & Grandpa’s as much as possible and they will be in daycare...yeah...just typing that serves as an affirmation. Now, I wouldn’t want to watch them for 8 hours or anything but I really do love my friends kids and I will always be willing to watch them a couple hours if I can...and I will hang up their pictures and drawings...but I will ALWAYS be willing to give them back.
I want to work on the intro into these blogs. I mean, I could go with a clever remark regarding the intended subject of my blog but sometimes...I don’t really have an intended subject. I also feel like I have to preface what I say with some of the goings on in my life. I’m not sure why I need to tell you that my fingernails are infected or every time it’s trivia night (which it is) but I feel like you should know. I guess what I’m trying to say is that despite my want to have a sexier first line...it probably won’t happen. If you read my poems...the first line is sort of a strong point of mine...or at least that’s what grad school taught me. It’s the middle and end part that I’m not great at. As you can see, this carries on in the blog because I cheat and end the blog with someone else’s words. I guess, if you don’t care to know the immediate, daily details of my life, perhaps you could scroll down and look for a grabbing or witty line and start there. If you don’t think any of them are clever...pretend that one of them is and hopefully you will discover the crux of the message of that day. I will warn you though...there are days when I just ramble...hopefully you will be able to tell quick when it’s going to be that kind of a day. I have a point today.
Anorexia is NOT the new black. I don’t know...I thought it was clever. I know that reading Elle magazine may lead you to believe that using your toilet to deposit everything you eat by way of your mouth is the only way to look “heroin chic,” but that is just not true. Well, actually, it may be true. It seems that these grown women who are well under 100 pounds can’t possibly be eating anything. I’m sure that some of them are “naturally” thin and all but having watched my fair share of reality TV...the truth is...they are told constantly to be aware of their body and if they gain ANY weight...they know that their career could be in jeopardy. For us normal folks, obtaining a pale, sickly, grossly thin lifestyle can only come if we starve ourselves. I’m not just talking about Anorexia and Bulimia...you know...your standard eating disorders that many people lose their life over. Today, I’m talking about diet programs that instill a “don’t eat” mentality to the consumer. Look, I’ve done different diets before...and most of them work but only temporarily. Any diet that strips your body of a vital component that it needs can only work for so long. I did the Atkins diet before. Robbing my body of carbohydrates and pumping it with fat and protein took the weight off but the second I started eating bread again...I inflated like the Goodyear Blimp. Also, it is proven to be very unhealthy. Any liquid diet is also bad...I mean...use your head...if you can lose 15 pounds in 3 days or something...it CAN’T be good for your body. Honestly, I don’t even recommend those bariatric/medical weight loss places...especially if you are very overweight. You can’t go 90 to nothing and expect to keep the weight off. I mean, there are people that go from eating 3,000 calories in a day to 800 on these programs. That is not enough food for someone really overweight to eat for the day. Look, some of these programs work for people and that’s great. For me, fad diets don’t work. I may be losing weight slower than some because I cut down on food a little at a time...but I really think it’s best...at least for me. I have to indulge from time to time and also teach myself how to eat and make better decisions. Please don’t starve yourself. I don’t always treat my body with enough respect so I’m not judging but just know that if you eat more balanced meals, it is way better than not eating at all. Plus, I don’t know anyone that WANTS to look like a skeleton. I included one picture/cartoon that I can relate to. Sometimes, I see someone in the mirror that doesn’t look anything like me. I see a caricature of myself...sometimes you have to shake that off. I also included a picture that I find HILARIOUS (and possible a tad insensitive).
Adios Amigos! American Idol is on tonight...thank goodness for the DVR...I’d be in a terrible pickle deciding between TV & trivia.
“Let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters
And teach them how to dance
Let's get rich and build our house on a mountain
Making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I, you and I,
Well you might be a bit confused
And you might be a little bit bruised
But baby how we spoon like no one else
So I will help you read those books
If you will soothe my worried looks
And we will put the lonesome on the shelf.”
You and I-Ingrid Michaelson