Monday, April 9, 2012

Crunch Time

Hi Everyone! I’m going to jump right in today. I weighed this weekend with pretty much no change. I am still 1.4 away from my lowest weight. I was not only discouraged but also anticipating cheating for Easter so I ate far too much this weekend. I made myself sick actually. Of course, I’m on again today but the hopes of losing any weight this week aren’t great. I have a plan that I will outline below.

When you are on a diet, you eat a lot of salads. In fact, there have been moments when I have vowed to never eat a salad again. I adore the “bad” salads. The ones that you pile up yourself at a salad bar and the ones in restaurants that have fried chicken and mounds of fattening dressing. Obviously, these salads are out of the question when you decide to diet. They are far too high in fat to even consider them. No, you get the salads with fat free dressing on the side, no cheese, no croutons and no fun. These salads are fine at first and act as fillers but after a certain point, you’d rather chunk a bowl of lettuce across the room than eat one of these tasteless monsters.

The recipe this week is yet another reason why I love the Hungry Girl. She allows you to create a giant salad full of flavor that won’t leave you angry. As a side note, I have been using Dijonnaise as dressing lately because it packs a lot of flavor and a punch and it’s low in calories. I’ve been considering using low fat French onion dip or this new Garlic Greek yogurt dip I’ve discovered (I may share later). I have sworn off all fat free dressings and low fat dressings…I can’t take it anymore. Anyway, this salad is great because it has a ton of protein to go with the lettuce. I got the taste of Dijonnaise, lettuce, cucumber and either turkey, ham or roast beef in every bite. I highly recommend trying this.

This weekend was Easter. Easter is one of my favorite holidays because not only does it remind me that I am extremely blessed with family and friends, I also get to dye Easter eggs! I’m not great at it because I lack what some might call…patience…but I still love it. Jordan came over and we dyed eggs with my mom and Oma. It was a great time as always.

OK-so I was sitting at the dinner table last night staring at my plate. I couldn’t eat anymore. I had a little left and trust me when I tell you I NEVER, EVER leave plate on my food. Last night was different though because beginning Saturday night, I crammed everything in that I could. I ate huge meals and snacks in between. I was on the verge of vomiting. I don’t ever throw up. I can remember every time I’ve thrown up in my life because I’ve only done it 5 times. I remember each scenario. Anytime I’ve ever been nauseated, I sort of just will it away. There is nothing worse than throwing up but gosh, I felt close last night. Of course, whenever I do this, I melt down into a state of depression because I know that nobody caused this feeling but me. I haven’t been losing weight lately, no matter my actions and I think it’s caused me to lose my motivation. This however, is not an excuse. I think I’ve discovered how to maintain. Unfortunately, I’m not ready to maintain…I still want to lose. So, what am I going to do? Well, I have no reason to cheat over the next 3 weekends. It will be tough because I have things planned but nothing important enough to blow my diet. I need to practice this. I want my birthday week to be one where I indulge but before then, I want to lose a bit of weight. My test, over the next 3 weeks will be to be more than perfect during the week. I’m going to count points, measure ingredients and work my butt off (I’m going to up the exercise just a wee bit more). I’m also going to count points on the weekend, having only one cheat meal on Sunday night. My goal is to tell you that I have lost a total of 3.2 pounds on May 7th. That’s the 1.4 I’ve got left from Vegas plus 1.8 more. If for some reason I don’t reach that goal or I mess up, I am going to re-join Weight Watchers and start their new program. I am hoping that monthly charge will motivate me to do the right thing. I will re-set another short term goal right after that when my birthday week is over. I have to do something to ignite the spark again. I will not let myself go back. So, wish me luck because I’m going to need it.

This weekend will be emotional for me because my brother is going to his Senior Prom. I can’t believe he’s going to be graduating next month. I am going to need all kinds of nerve pills. It’s also the weekend for Alabama’s Spring Practice Game…A-Day. Roll Tide. I picked a bad weekend to get my stuff together but that’s OK. I deserve a little punishment. I need to test myself. I have been strong for around 3 years now. I found that strength from somewhere…I can find it again. Have a good week, y’all! Bye!

“The tricky thing
Is yesterday we were just children
Playing soldiers
Just pretending
Dreaming dreams with happy endings
In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords
But now we've stepped into a cruel world
Where everybody stands and keeps score…” Eyes Open- Taylor Swift

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