Fearless

Greetings y’all.  I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend.  Mine was pretty good.  I was extremely productive but I also got to play a little.  I was a bit disappointed because when I weighed this weekend, I was up over a pound.  I know I went to New Orleans the prior week but I tried not to go crazy.  My hope was that I didn’t gain but it definitely goes to show that my body is at a zero tolerance level at this point.  It’s frustrating quite honestly.  I am in constant fear of gaining weight.  What I eat and drink, what I weigh, what activity I do for the day is streaming constantly in the forefront of my brain.  I never get a break.  It can be a bit overwhelming at times.  My goal is to live fearlessly and just do the best I can but I am certain a life without stress over my weight is an impossibility.  In terms of calorie intake and the rules I’ve set for myself, I was at 100% during the week last week and at about 70% this weekend so it wasn’t bad.  I am doing fine today. I’m currently training for a 10K so I’m running at least 3 times a week, walking at least twice and then doing either an exercise machine or an Insanity video once a week.  I still managed to gain weight last week so I hope that you can see why it’s all a bit discouraging.  Either way, I haven’t given up and I definitely don’t intend to.  I suppose this is my outlet to vent, however unfortunate it is for you all.  I will proceed as best I can.

I actually made a turkey burger this weekend that I didn’t screw up and it turned out delicious.  I am incredibly impatient.  If my food takes more than 3-5 minutes to make, I am certain to be cranky.  The problem is, there are various types of food that require patience.  I’ve burned a lot of eggs and rice in my day.  Turkey burgers are hard to make because they require patience.  If you overcook a turkey burger, it’s essentially inedible.  There are a couple tricks to cooking a turkey burger.  First, it should be of decent quality.  I recommend getting them uncooked.  Pre-cooked/packaged turkey burgers have no juices after they’ve been heated up.   I got these from Jennie-O.  Each individual patty comes in its own pouch.  They are 200 calories a piece but the patty is pretty large.  They are all white meat.  I keep them frozen and I defrosted this one in the microwave.  Be careful! The microwave is a dangerous place for turkey burgers.  I put it on the defrost setting and checked it every 30 seconds or so and as soon as it wasn’t frozen in the middle, I took it out.  Then I cooked it on a low-medium setting on the skillet.  I left it on one side for several minutes and THEN flipped it.  You don’t want to flip it too much or overcook it.  I got the idea from the Hungry Girl to make a taco flavored burger so I took taco seasoning and rubbed the patty with it.  Once it was done, I topped it with salsa and then some cheese.  I put it on my low calorie bun and it was delicious! I was so proud of myself for having the patience to make a juicy turkey burger.  It may never happen again so I wanted to share with you in order to cherish the moment. 

My life gets even busier this week.  School starts back so I’m going to be teaching in addition to my regular job.  I also got a third job tutoring two days a week so it’s going to be crazy.  Also, football season is about to start and that keeps me traveling and busy as well.  I am going to Chattanooga this weekend to see family and watch some live music at a festival.  I found out that Sara Bareilles was going to be playing in Chattanooga and she’s my favorite so I’m going to that on Sunday.  It should be an AWESOME weekend. I hope you all have a great week and I will catch you next Monday!

“Then that’s the way it is

We live with what we miss

We learn to build another wall

Till it falls

So go on go and break my heart

I’ll be okay

There’s nothing you can do to me

That’s ever going to burn me

So go on, go on and leave my love

Out on the street

I’m fearless

Better believe I’m fearless, fearless…” Fearless-Colbie Caillat

Back To Me

Hello everyone! I am completely exhausted today but I’m OK with that.  I had an awesome weekend so it was totally worth it.  When I weighed on Friday morning, I was down a couple more pounds.  That’s two weeks in a row that I showed a loss.  I was so relieved.  I know that I can do this and it was nice to show progress.  I went to New Orleans this weekend so I knew that I wouldn’t be eating great.  In the past, if I went out of town, I just had a free for all. I would get three different snacks at every gas station and I would eat horribly for every meal.  This time, I allotted myself a little freedom but I didn’t go crazy.  I set up explicit guidelines for myself that allowed me to eat cheat meals/snacks but only if I earned them.  I exercised all weekend, brought my own snacks and didn’t cheat every meal.  Of course I had some good food that is bad for you but I don’t think I’ve ever been so well behaved on an out of town trip.  I was so proud of myself.  I may not lose weight this week but so far in August, I’ve proved to myself that I can still do a fantastic job.  I haven’t been myself these past few months and it’s time to get back to the me that I know I can be.  I’m running at 100% today and have no excuses to cheat this weekend so I should make some nice progress.  Remember, it’s always going to be a struggle so never give up, even if you get discouraged.

I wanted to share a quick and yummy alternative to the greasy, fried chicken Buffalo sandwiches that you get in restaurants.  I actually have to give Cassandra credit for this because she makes these all of the time.  Tyson sells breaded chicken patties.  They are 200 calories which isn’t great but it’s certainly better than the alternative.  You can microwave them in a minute or so.  Take these, get you some low calorie bread or a low calorie bun and then add hot sauce and a light ranch style dressing or sauce to the chicken and you have a makeshift Buffalo Chicken Sandwich.  Making this at home could easily save you 300-400 calories and it’s delicious.

As I said, I had a busy weekend.  I didn’t take too many pictures in New Orleans but I did put one that I took on the balcony that had a photobomb from someone that went with us.  I think Cassandra had a great birthday and we all had a blast.  We came home from New Orleans on Saturday, I had time for a quick jog and then my friend Nish treated me to an AMAZING night.  We went to the Old Skool Summer Fest at the Amp in Tuscaloosa and we got to see Salt-N-Pepa (I didn’t take that picture. It came from al.com).  We danced the night away.  It was so much fun.  I went for a long swim yesterday, drove to Bessemer for lunch with Jordan and then had a delicious dinner at my parent’s house.  I know I’m always crazy busy.  In fact, it’s going to get worse when school starts and I have two classes.  I also just picked up a tutoring job on Tuesday and Thursday evenings that will add even more to my schedule but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.  I love to stay busy and I never want to miss out on an opportunity to experience something.  I will always be willing to see a friend or family member, go out of town or do something I’ve never done.  Life is way too short!

I hope you all have a great week!

Good luck with any goals that you have and never stop starting over.

Roll Tide, y’all.

Bye!

“I added rain to your ocean

What did it do, it meant nothing to you

You made grief my chief emotion

Why’d you have to do what you thought you had to do

I don’t know if I’ll be back again

Turns out they were right again

Get back to what you know

Get back to what you do

Gotta get back to me, ooooo

If it’s true home is where the heart is

I guess now I’m homeless

Get back to what you know

Get back to what you do

Gotta get back to me without you…” Back To Me Without You-The Band Perry

Push It!

Hi y’all.  I’m sorry I didn’t post last week. I’m sure you sat angrily next to your computer all day on Monday wondering why I didn’t put something up or you didn’t notice at all…either way, I apologize.  To be quite honest, I was angry and pouty.  When I weighed on the 27^th of July, I was up another couple pounds and officially breached into the danger zone.  I was disappointed in myself and quite angry in general because it doesn’t seem fair that maintaining/losing weight is this hard.  I exercise all the time and for the most part, I don’t eat too much.  I realized quickly  though that I just need to get over it.  My mother reminded me that I know HOW to do it and she’s right…I do…it’s just a matter of sucking it up and doing it.  In terms of diet,  I was at 100% all week last week and at about 70% this weekend (I had one or two sketchy moments yesterday) so it was a great improvement.  When I weighed again on Friday, I was down a couple pounds and back under the really ugly, scary number.  I was happy about that but I know that I have to press forward.  I will say that in terms of weight and health, the most terrifying battle that someone who has lost a lot of weight faces is gaining weight back.  You are never “safe.”  Gaining weight is always in the back of your mind.  I have been doing this for years and I’ve never given up but over the past year, I’ve gotten far too comfortable and the weight creeps back slowly.  I have a bit of momentum from losing weight last week so I definitely plan to keep going.  I am going to New Orleans on Friday and I have to get out of the mindset that I can eat what I want when I leave the county.  I will set specific guidelines for myself that allow me a treat or two but not freedom to do what I want.  I have no choice at this point; I’ve worked too hard.

This week, I am sharing a new product that I found at Wal-Mart.  I know the images is a bit small but these are something called “Chicken Melts” and they are made by the Sandwich Bros.  They make smaller, pocket sandwiches that are quite tasty and not that high in calories.  They are small but they aren’t laughably small and they have that frozen snack effect that you miss out on when you are dieting.  They are 160 calories.  I paired one with a serving of fat free Pringles on Saturday for lunch and it was pretty filling.  It has a breaded chicken taste and also has cheese. I’m hoping to find additional variations at Wal-Mart soon.  I know frozen food has tons of artificial ingredients and for the most part, natural products are better but sometimes, it’s nice to return to your college years and quickly heat up something in the microwave.

My roomie, “wife” and bestie is celebrating a birthday on Friday and I wanted to give her a shout out.  I have a lot of awesome people in my life and I’m very fortunate.  Cassandra is one of those people.  She accepts me for who I am (and who I am is pretty difficult to put up with sometimes) and is always there for me.  She has been especially helpful in the past few months.  It’s rare that two people can live together as long as we have and remain friends.  She’s AMAZING and I am so lucky to have her in my life!!! I hope you have an awesome birthday and I can’t wait to get into trouble in NOLA on Friday!

Since I last posted, I saw St. Paul and the Broken Bones again.  I also got to see the Goo Goo Dolls and Matchbox 20.  I watched my friend’s dog, Coco last week.  I love this dog.  She has so much personality.  We went swimming and she just swam right up to her float and chilled for about 20 minutes as if it were perfectly natural for a dog to lounge/float in a pool.  The above pictures were all from those events. 

I’m excited about the upcoming weeks.  I’m going to New Orleans.  I’m seeing Salt-n-Pepa on Saturday. I’m going to Chattanooga in a few weeks and then the beach on Labor Day.  I’m a lucky, lucky girl.

Maybe the most exciting thing to look forward to is football season which is just around the corner.  ROLL TIDE!

I hope everyone has a fantastic week!

Bye!

“But some things in this world

Man, they don’t make sense

Some things you don’t leave until they leave you

And then the things that you miss, you say

Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone

Who will save me from all I’m up against out in this world

And maybe, maybe, maybe

You’ll find something that’s enough to keep you

But if the bright lights don’t receive you

You should turn yourself around and come on home

Let that city take you in (come on home)

Let that city spit you out (come on home)

Let that city take you down, yeah

For God’s sake turn around…” Bright Lights-Matchbox 20

Special Broadcast Y'all

Hi Everyone! I usually post on Monday but I wanted to drop a special publication alert.  As some of you may recall, I went to grad school for writing so I'm always trying to publish.  I haven't managed to get a whole book out there but I've published several poems and yesterday I received my copy of the Spring 2013 edition of The Binnacle which is the "Literary Magazine of Coastal Maine."  I am so fortunate because they chose to publish FOUR of my poems in that edition.  I posted pictures below because I'm a nerd but I was really pleased.  In case you want to check this magazine out or want to purchase copies, I included some info under the pictures.  Yay!

The link to The Binnacle's site that you can copy and paste is: http://machias.edu/faculty/necastro/binnacle/.

According to them if you want to purchase an issue:

For each copy you would like, please send $5 US plus shipping to The Binnacle, 19 Kimball Hall, University of Maine at Machias, 116 O'Brien Avenue, Machias, MN 04654. Shipping charges are $2 for the first copy and $1 for each additional copy in the same order. Please be sure to include full contact information, especially your postal and email address and PLEASE INDICATE WHICH EDITION OF THE BINNACLE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND. Mine is SPRING 2013.

Thanks y'all!

Proceed with your day.

Cookie Monster

Hey y’all! I tell you what, I have had a busy year and it’s only going to get busier.  I work full time, I’m going to have two classes to teach in the fall, I’m going to concerts, football games, New Orleans and New York City!  I am so lucky to have all of these opportunities and the means to fulfill them.  I may not have any spare cash but the experiences I have are totally worth it.  Now, if I can control the amount of food I eat, I would be in great shape.  I didn’t weigh this weekend just because I had such a carb fest the week before but I will weigh this weekend.  I went to the beach and didn’t do terribly so hopefully after a solid few days, I will balance out.  The truth is, I haven’t lost weight in over a year and a half.  I have kept my weight within 10-15 pounds of the lowest I’ve ever been which isn’t bad but I can’t shake the plateau.  I was daydreaming yesterday about the times when I was at least 100 pounds heavier and the thought of going through that again is terrifying.  It’s not just the number on the scale, it’s the feelings that you have with that.  I could never return to that point.  The problem is that when you are discouraged, especially when you work so hard, it can give you a defeated attitude.  I also don’t want that.  I guess we all go through this.  I will continue to try and be better and as always, I exercise every day.

I made some Peanut Butter Cookies last week that are under 50 calories per cookie.  All you do is mix peanut butter, a sweetener like Splenda or Truvia (I prefer Truvia), 1 egg and some baking soda and then drop a cookie sized amount on a cookie sheet and bake.  I love peanut butter cookies…well…I just love cookies in general.  These tasted pretty good and they were super easy but I will warn you, they have a severe aftertaste that comes with the sugar substitute.  If you are already sensitive to the taste of artificial sweetener, you may not like these.

On Thursday, I celebrated my friend Arianne’s birthday by going to watch St. Paul and the Broken Bones at the Green Bar in Tuscaloosa.  They were amazing. We even got to meet the lead singer, Paul Janeway. If you’ve never listened, I highly recommend it.  We had a blast.  I also went to the beach this weekend with my friend Nish and had a great time. Thanks for thinking of me, Nish!

I hope everyone has a great week.

Good luck with any goals that you’ve set for yourself. 

Let’s support each other.

Bye!

“Tomorrow’s another day

And I am not afraid

So bring on the rain…”Bring on the Rain-Jo Dee Messina

Need To WHIP Myself Into Shape...

It’s Monday again, y’all.  It feels like a Monday, too.  This day has Monday stank all over it.  Oh well, I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.  After the week I had last week, and believe me, it was a doozie, I was worried that the weekend would be even worse.  Don’t get me wrong, it certainly had its moments but man, I’m a lucky girl.  I don’t just have one family member or one friend that would do anything for me, I have several.  Not to brag or anything but there wasn’t one second of my weekend when I didn’t have the option to lean on someone that loves me in some way.  There are some changes happening and I’m going to have to make some adjustments but at the end of the day, I have everything I need.  Hopefully all work, personal, sleep, financial and tire disasters have gone to bed…at least for the week. 

Now, onto the purpose of this blog, LOSING WEIGHT.  I was down a few ounces again when I weighed on Friday.  It’s moving very slowly right now.  I had too much to eat this weekend so I don’t expect any great loss on Friday.  I have problems with stress eating and loving beer but I’m working to get those things back on track.  I am going to the beach this weekend (thanks Nish) and I’m going to try to do a good job while I’m there which I know will be difficult but I have got to get out of the mindset that just because I leave town, I don’t have an excuse to eat what I want.  I’m also going to start the Couch to 10K program this week for a change so hopefully things will begin to move a bit faster soon.

I don’t have a recipe this week but I did want to give a shout out to Cool Whip…specifically Cool Whip Lite.  I won’t pretend that Cool Whip is GOOD for you.  It contains a lot of artificial ingredients and it certainly doesn’t add much in the way of nutritional value.  However, you could do way worse in terms of dessert.  At the end of the day, it’s low in calories and fat and you can use it in so many ways to trick your body into thinking it’s having dessert.  You can mix it with all kinds of things.  My mom used to mix it with orange Jello for a creamsicle effect and sometimes she’d mix it with pudding for a chocolate fluff type of thing.  I like to mix it with berries.  If you take a huge dollop or two of Cool Whip and mix it with blueberries and strawberries and you will get a filling treat that doesn’t make you feel guilty.  Also, I don’t know if you know this or not but if you freeze cool whip, it takes on a consistency that resembles ice cream.  Out of the freezer,  it tastes great alone or topped with berries or chocolate chips.  Cool Whip is not natural but it is better than eating that pint of Ben & Jerry’s or any other treat that is loaded with fat.  I like it because it kicks fruit up a notch. 

Since I mentioned I like beer earlier, I thought I’d give a shout out to my friends at Druid City Brewing Company in Tuscaloosa who had the grand opening of their taproom on Thursday.  I am so proud of these guys.  They are making a great, local product and working their behinds off to make Tuscaloosa proud.  So far, they are doing all of that very successfully.  If you are from Tuscaloosa, you have no excuse…make sure to stop by.  If you aren’t from T-town, make sure to stop by if you ever drive through.

My parents, Oma and Aunt Kris got back from Alaska last night and they had a blast.  My parents have always been good at bringing my brother and I goodies.  I got some earrings made from glacier ice but I also got a couple silly gifts.  I got a mini brush to clean the lint out of my belly button but I think the real take away here is that my parents brought me two moose-poop themed gifts.  While I appreciate the gesture, I have to admit I’ve been wondering why seeing poop related products made my parents think of me.  Perhaps there are some changes that I need to make.  In all seriousness, I’m glad they had fun and I’m definitely happy they are back safe.

I want to give a birthday shout out to my friend Arianne who is celebrating a birthday this week.  Happy Birthday, Arianne!

I hope you all enjoy your week!

Bye!

“Time can come and take away the pain,

But I just want my memories to remain,

I hear your voice,

I see your face,

There’s not one moment

I’d erase.

You are a guest here  now…” How-Regina Spektor

Mug Life.

Hi y’all.  I weighed this weekend and I’m coming down a few ounces at a time.  I will take it.  I so badly want to take charge of my body and whip it into shape but it’s such a slow process.  All I want is to get back for the immediate future is to get back to my lowest weight but I’m moving at a snail’s pace.  I have a little while before football season starts so I’d like to reach that goal before then but it won’t be easy.  I’ve done a really good job the past couple weeks so I just need to be patient and keep it up. 

So, the Hungry Girl is by far my favorite healthy cook.  I bought a massive cook book of hers and I just love flipping through it and making her recipes.  She is the best at making simple recipes that echo familiar comfort foods.

She has a whole section on “egg mugs” and “egg bakes.”  She loves cooking with Egg Beaters.  I know that people hate them and if you have only had them microwaved with no flavor, I understand.  I urge you to give them another shot.  They are pretty versatile.  Essentially the Egg Beater, while a little strange, is a blank canvas that you can add any flavor to.  I went kept it pretty traditional and just added cheese and bacon.  All you do is mix it together and heat it up.  I had a piece of toast with it and it was quite tasty.  You can add salsa or veggies.  She even has a Buffalo Chicken Egg Mug.  It’s worth a try.

I trust everyone had a wonderful fourth.  I had fun with friends and family and SPARKLERS! It’s crazy how much joy a simple firework can bring but I love those things.

My Dad and I went to see My Morning Jacket, Wilco and Bob Dylan last week at the Tuscaloosa Amp.  My Morning Jacket was really good and Wilco wasn’t bad either.  Bob Dylan was another story.  I realize that the man is a legend and he knew the Beatles and all but he wasn’t great.  He had all these rules about the stage, ticketing and lighting.  You could barely see him.  I know he’s never been a great singer but it was on another level and he didn’t sing a song anyone recognized for 20-30 minutes.  I am glad I can say I saw him but that’s pretty much the only redeeming factor of his performance.  Dad and I had fun, though.

My parents are in Alaska on vacation this week so I’ve been holding down the fort with my brother.  I hope they are having a great time.

Here’s to a great week!

Bye!

“If I had known what I know now,

I never would have played so nonchalant.” Come Back…Be Here – Taylor Swift