Apparently when I was spreading my fat free cream cheese on my whole wheat mini-bagel this morning I got some on my black dress and I now have a very Monica Lewinski-esque stain which happens to be right in the crotch area. Has anyone ever seen skinny person with a food stain on their clothes...seriously...ever? I don't think it happens. One more aside, I went to the eye doctor today because after my series of unfortunate events yesterday, I had to have glasses ASAP. The doctor told me to put my "little chin" up on the machine. She must have been referring to the first chin (cue the drum sound used for a punchline). I didn't plan on talking about that today so I will try to get to the point now.
For the past two weeks, a guy at church has approached me and with a quizzical look goes, "You look nice?" I am just waiting for him to ask me if I've had a hair cut or something but he never does. I've lost almost 30 pounds and there hasn't been one person that has asked me if I've lost weight that doesn't know that I'm trying. When you have as much as I do to lose, I have discovered that 30 pounds makes me NOT look more thin, just...less...sloppy. I have had to come to terms with this because I have come frolicking around people, in my clothes that didn't fit before that are now too big or my new jeans that are down one size, expecting some sort of weight loss parade with a Daughtry song in the background where people toss carrots and money at me but shockingly...this hasn't happened. Look, 30 pounds on some people makes them look drastically different. I didn't start at 160 pounds...I started at...well...way more than that. What is important is that YOU notice. I can tell a difference in my clothes. The dress I have on today for example...I would have never worn this dress without Spanx 3 months ago...I mean stuff was hanging out everywhere. Today, I am wearing it in all it's glory and...it doesn't look bad. I don't care if anyone knows that. Don't get me wrong, it feels really good when someone asks you if you've lost weight but if they don't...who cares? You know what the scale says. Also, and this is one of my BIGGEST PROBLEMS, is when someone asks me if I have lost weight or tells me I look good...I RARELY just say thank you. I usually turn my nose up and tell them how fat I still feel or how I have a long way to go...especially if they catch me after I've eaten something bad and I am feeling all pouty. Why shoot down a free compliment? I have got to remember to work on that. Also, remember to be nice when people ask you if something is different. Don't scream or throw yourself to the ground screaming...I'VE LOST 30 POUNDS YOU FILTHY WHORE!!! (I've never done this) All you need to say is yes, I've lost a little weight. When they inappropriately ask you how much (and they will), you can tell them if you want and try to suffer through the facial expression they have that is filled with complete and utter shock.
I am currently losing at a rate of 3.2 pounds a week which is really good for the first couple months. I expect this to slow down as I progress to 1-2 pounds a week. I know that this is a slow rate but I am in it for the long haul this time and it has been my experience that quick fix diets don't last. So, if I don't reach my goal until 2 years from now...that's OK. Some days it will be a tough pill to swallow because 1 pound a week feels like nothing but I will know how to live and hopefully have a better chance of maintaining weight loss. So, if the guy that I like doesn't go, my you look like you've lost about 30 pounds...you're glowing...let's run off together...it's going to be alright. I'm not doing this for him or anybody else...right?
I wanted to apologize for my bad habit of run-on sentences. I write like I talk. Try and keep up. Going to Sips N Strokes with my mom tonight to paint a picture of the Eiffel Tower (or something that looks vaguely like it). We are also going to dinner but I'm not sure where. It's pretty fun...makes you feel like an artist...plus you get wine.