Friday, March 4, 2011

Is it cool to swim in my mumu y'all?

I’m going to skip the pleasantries and just say that I somehow managed to lose .4 pounds this week (pushing me over 88 pounds) despite some major bloating issues that go beyond anything I should discuss in a public forum. Let’s just say, I’m going to weigh again tomorrow morning before I make anything official for the week in case I’m able to release any hypothetical demons that have been living inside my belly since last Sunday morning. I’m hoping to feel lighter and more ready for the scale tomorrow…if not…I may need to seek professional help soon…that’s all I’ll say about that. 88 pounds down is not a bad way to start off a Friday.

In addition to my private, now public, stomach issues, I have one more physical ailment that I’d like to heap upon my tens of readers today. This past Sunday, I was trying to make a piece of peanut butter toast. I was reading the calories on the side of the brand new, unopened, 2 LB jar of peanut butter when it rolled off the table and landed directly on the tip of my big toe. Without going into detail, let’s just say that I lost every sense of religion I had for about 30 minutes while I hopped around, cried and cleaned up the blood from the broken skin. All in all, once all the dust settled, the injury wasn’t that bad, it was the drama of it all that really shook me up. The only problem was that when I ran that day, I was redistributing my weight in places other than my toe and in turn, I got myself a nice little shin splint. I’ve had the shin splint since Sunday but I haven’t really let up in the exercise department because it hasn’t been that bad. It flared up a bit when I worked out but it wasn’t until after my run yesterday that it reared its ugly head. I am limping something serious and can’t seem to shake the pain. I elevated and iced it yesterday but it’s still extremely painful. I am not scheduled to run again until Sunday so I’m going to try and go a little easier on it when I exercise the next couple of days. I’ve tried recommended stretches and pills but I guess it’s just going to have to work itself out…I just wish it would hurry.

I miss when bathing suits looked like that…when it was acceptable to wear a flat out dress in the water. Sure, I could get a bathing dress now but I have to say, there isn’t much charm to a round-ish 20-something traipsing around in a mini dress to swim in. I had a skirt last year which was ok but it kind of got in the way. I have never really had a cute bathing suit…I don’t want to reveal too much…I’m not ready, but I don’t want to be reduced to wearing a wet suit either. Summertime is fast approaching in Alabama and I do not own a bathing suit…at all. I got rid of mine from last year because it was WAY too big and didn’t bother buying one because I didn’t know what size I’d be. I am going to the beach in May and really, the only way it’s bearable to be outside in the summer in Alabama is if you are half naked outside in a pool. I knew that the inevitable day would come when I needed to purchase these satanic water swimming devices so I attempted to look for one last weekend. I don’t know about anyone else but trying on bathing suits makes me want to scream and cry, run out of the mall and straight into the road. It didn’t help that I went with Cassandra, she could see the devastation in my face which mirrored in hers. Luckily, she’s very supportive and prevented me from a major melt down. I’ve worked very hard but there are still some problem areas that just won’t go away, they won’t smooth out. On top of that, the product of major weight loss is extra skin which, trust me, is the opposite of attractive when it’s stuffed into the confines of a rubber swimsuit. I can’t have immediate satisfaction in this department but I have started doing specific stretches to try and get everything a little more tightened than it is now. Anyway, I will eventually just have to bite the bullet but every time I think about it, all I can hear is that scary, stabbing music from Psycho.

In order to make myself feel a little better about the swimsuit shopping tragedy of 2011, I went shopping at Old Navy where I can always find something in a size I didn’t think I could wear. Thank you Old Navy for making your clothes too big. That helped a little and then I also created the pictures below. I have all of my before and after pictures in a document so I thought it’d be cool to have them lumped together. I made two. I made a progression picture and then one that will feature my before picture and a current after picture. Once I saw that, it made me feel better about the raging craters and waves of cottage cheese populating my thighs. Now, when I’m uncomfortably thinking about how I will be trying to cover up every problem area while in a bathing suit, I can look to these pictures and see that even though I’m not exactly in bikini shape, I’ve come a long way!

Well, more golfing this weekend and I also have lots of things I need to get done that aren’t fun. I am trying to put a portfolio together so I can attempt to get a night class to teach. I’d love the experience. Anyway, I have a lot of stuff I need to do. In Idol news, I’m pretty satisfied with the top 13. I do hate that they feel like they have to fill certain demographics so they cut someone because they haven’t been as good as the other person that sings similarly. Everyone that should have definitely made it in did though and I’m happy about that. I will discuss it more when I finally learn their names instead of constantly saying, “That country boy,” or “That girl from Georgia,” “Or that Adam Lambert dude…”

Have a good weekend everyone! Bye!

“I like it better when you were on my side.” The Story Of Us-Taylor Swift

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