Another weekend is upon us and as usual, I’m happy that it has arrived. Well, I knew that the possibility that I could get away with my weekend binge last week was slim and I was right. I weigh pretty much the same I did last week which means I’m still about 2 pounds off my pre-New York weight. I am sufficiently angry at myself because there was no sense in it. It just goes to show how one bad decision (too many appetizers at dinner) can lead to a downward spiral because the rest of the weekend, I just let myself go completely. Well, if I don’t stick to my guns this weekend, I am going to outline some serious consequences for myself while I’m in New Orleans. I have been planning on cheating in New Orleans for awhile now so I think depriving myself there is motivation enough to be on my best behavior this weekend. The good news is I know now that to maintain the same weight, I can pretty much eat and drink what I want on Saturday and Sunday nights and as long as I’m healthy the rest of the time, I stay about the same. The bad part is that I’m not ready to maintain yet. I am still in losing mode so I need to get my head on straight. I think I am done scolding myself now.
I was talking to someone the other day about going to Six Flags and how I haven’t been there in forever and I was reminded of a time when I took my brother and his friend to Alabama Adventure which is the little theme park in Birmingham. I would say I was at my heaviest or around that. I’ve always loved roller coasters and rides that are really high. There is this ride there that you get in a seat and it shoots you up this long pole. I wanted to ride it and it never occurred to me that I may not fit in the seat. My brother used to be afraid of those rides so he didn’t go but the kid with us did (this kid was in our youth group and I love him dearly) and when we went to get in the seat, I hopped up, and the buckle was meant to come between your legs and attach to a contraption that went over your head. I couldn’t manage to get the buckle through my inner thighs, let alone reach it to the buckle above my head. I tried for a few seconds and realized very quickly that I wasn’t going to be able to ride. So, in front of my brother and his friend and a line of people, I had to get off the ride. I was completely horrified. I had never been unable to ride something because of my weight. There was also an instance when I was on a plane that I couldn’t get my seat belt buckled. I was able to hide it from the attendant, otherwise, I would have had to get an extension. For me, these things were the jolt I needed to motivate me. For others, this can send them back into their shell and only make them get more unhealthy and avoid things in an effort to forget. I have talked before about how society doesn’t treat fat people with respect and I think that’s true. Medically, I am still obese, so in no way can I judge others, but now that I can buckle my belt in an airplane with no problems and I have gotten on a rollercoaster easily, I want to make an extra effort not to judge those that can’t. I’ve been there. My advice would be to not let those moments make you more miserable, let them define your future. Businesses (especially airlines, theme parks and stadiums) should make more accommodations for overweight people because a shocking number of people don’t fit into the category of “average” when it comes to size and they should be treated like human beings. But instead of lashing out at these people because you are hurt or you feel defied, use that energy to take better care of yourself. I am happy to note that when I do have the money, I am going to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter and I’m going to ride EVERYTHING!
Below you will see my before and after pic for this week. I know the picture outlines how different I look but all I can see is how grown up my brother looks. I won’t get into it because the second I start talking about how I can’t believe he’s a senior in high school and how much he means to me, I will cry and I don’t want to go there right now.
I am proud of this image but I don’t want to become complacent. I will NOT have another weekend like I did last weekend. I want to get that weight off. I am getting to a point where I may be able to set a final goal soon and I don’t want to ruin that.
Have a great weekend everyone!
“There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, and it's bringing me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare
See how I'll leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do.” Rolling In The Deep-Adele