Monday, November 2, 2009

Patience is a virtue.

Well, I am back at work today. It felt weird at first but it didn’t take much time before I was yet again fully aware of all of my emails and my unbelievable, fossil-slow computer. This day has really tested my patience but I am trying to overcome. Also, I have been starving all day long. I think it’s because my schedule was so out of whack last week and I had two bowls of chili for lunch yesterday and fried pork chops with mash potatoes and gravy and macaroni and cheese for dinner last night. I would say all the grazing of cheat day definitely has something to do with my desire to gnaw on anything and everything...even my desk calendar or tape dispenser don’t look bad at this point.

My Aunt Brenda often whispers “patience is a virtue” under her breath when feeling stressed or encountering a situation that may make her crazy. Lately, I have found that this method doesn’t work for me. My Oma asked me if I have found that my anger “issues” have gotten worse because I am dieting. I had never really thought about it before but it was an interesting question. I honestly don’t think they have gotten worse...just pretty consistent.

I have different ways of dealing with things. I usually have patience for certain periods of time and then it sort of...runs out. When that happens, I express that through language or yelling or biting my finger really hard. I have to gather more patience after that which is like looking for firewood in the desert...especially if I’m at work...but I manage. I know that everyone finds patience from different places. I was thinking and I don’t think that my accelerated anger comes from one particular thing. I think it comes from my short fuse. My lack of patience. I am a person that desires instant gratification. This explains the dizzying anger I feel when my computer runs slow or the way I want to hit someone when I don’t know an answer I need right away. I think this ideology is spilling over into my weight loss. As of Saturday, I have lost over 46 pounds. It feels really good but at the same time...I am very impatient. I have been so lucky to have lost weight every week since I started Weight Watchers. I say lucky...which I am...but I have also worked my butt off. Some weeks I lose over 2 pounds when I just do normal things and then there was last week when I did everything right and I only lost 1.2. Do I feel guilty for complaining about losing weight? Yes. Do I do it anyway? Yes. It’s all about my impatience. My goal and perhaps you might consider making this your goal as well: Be patient. Patience really is a virtue. We can’t always get instant gratification. If that were the case, I would have done what it takes to lose 150 pounds in one week, all 7 Harry Potter movies would be out by now, I would have a Masters and a PHD, and I would ask for a paycheck advance for the next 10 years. I understand it takes time but I need to REALLY understand it. Because, if I get too impatient...I might stop. I definitely do NOT want to do that.

Because of my brothers OVER-patient attitude with his grades...he may or may not be relinquishing his right to go to the LSU game this weekend- meaning I get to go. Unfortunately, I can’t relish in this because I would honestly rather have my brother making the straight A’s his brain so rightfully deserves but that doesn’t mean I’m not going....because I totally am. This game is pretty darn important. A win here pretty much seals up the SEC West so we can get another chance at the Gators. I must be patient in this realm also because we need to go one game at a time. Roll Tide.

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