Friday, December 4, 2009
You're a mean one Mr. Grinch!
It has been quite a week. I would say it has been one of those weeks that you would like to put in a vault somewhere never to be thought of again. You know, I was reading the lyrics to “You’re a mean one Mr. Grinch” and sometimes, I feel like those lyrics suit me just fine. I’m not really the type to relish in the Christmas spirit (though I did post a picture of my office decorations below). For the most part, I don’t like Christmas music. I do enjoy the actual day. There is something really rewarding about watching people open presents. I do take care in the gifts I purchase and I enjoy the family time. My only problem is the 3 months everyone spends preparing for the holiday.
I think my bad attitude spreads itself year round. Some of the lyrics of the song that I think fit me: “You’re as charming as an eel...you’ve got garlic in your soul...you have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile...you’re the king of sinful sots...” Those are just a few examples and this week I do feel as though my soul is a mangled knot of rubbish.
I know all of these things sound harsh but I think I might be misunderstood. There are primary differences between the Grinch and I. First, my hygiene is far better than his. I don’t smell like a “nasty, wasty skunk” and I try to keep things out of my teeth. I would say that the biggest difference between myself and the Grinch is that I’m not mean SPIRITED. The other day at trivia, the hostess gave us the same speech she does every week about sitting at the back table. The problem is...when you sit at the back table...you can’t hear. In weeks past, I have given her all kinds of attitude and it took awhile to achieve my ultimate goal. This week, I tried to be polite and she was much more helpful. I realize the connection between civility and production there but you don’t know how hard that was for me. I come by anger & anxiety issues naturally. The point is...I’m not intentionally mean. I have this trigger that prevents me from being anything but blatantly honest. I have some control in some areas but others...not so much. I also know that I’m not mean spirited because as soon as I do say something mean...I feel guilty. I think my mother knows this because her guilt trips usually send me into a 3 step denial, anger, and then apologetic whirlwind that drives me crazy. Also, if you will remember in the end, the Grinch’s heart grows 3 times its size. See-I think mine does this in shifts...my heart shrinks when I’m being mean and then immediately grows after that...usually when it’s too late.
I know that I have yammered on about my anger before and I have also promised I’m working on it...which I am...but I suppose I could work harder. Despite what I have said, I am TRYING to get in the Christmas spirit. I decorated my cubicle, bought Secret Santa & Dirty Santa presents for work and I am actually about 70% with all of my shopping...so...I will get better. Also, I sense professional help in my future...these rants can only last so long before people stop reading.
Wish me luck for the weigh in tomorrow...I’m hoping to get rid of the pound I gained and then some!
As I’m sure you know by now...THE SEC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME IS TOMORROW!!! If you don’t have any team affiliations between Alabama and Florida...would you please say a little non-sac-religious prayer for Alabama. It’s their time! I can feel it! ROLL TIDE!!!!!
Posted by Heather Wyatt