Wednesday, September 2, 2009

REFLUX, SWINE FLU & BACONATOR'S OH MY!!!

Hypochondria runs in my family. I won’t say who I get it from or which side but I think as I get older I am becoming more and more of a hypochondriac. I know that the swine flu is going around. The other day, I noticed that I had a sore throat and freaked a little but it has since gotten better except for the mornings which is normal for me because I have allergies. Anyway, two of the women at work were out because their children had it. I was a little nervous but I have been maintaining my composure…until today. There is a guy at work…the kind that feels the need to get too close when he wants something. He was all up in my face and asked me for some reflux medicine. I don’t know if I just looked like someone that would have Pepcid or Tums…but clearly, I do and he asked me…breathing all OVER me…knowing he didn’t feel good. Even though I was a little offended by his question because he had to walk across the whole office with plenty of antacid candidates he might be able to choose from along the way…but he chose me. But…of course…I do have some. Even though my reflux issues have slightly improved, I still need medication for it. So, I found out that right after that he went to the Dr. and was sent home with the SWINE!!! Have you ever noticed that when someone near you is sick…you immediately think that you are too…since he left, I have become extremely tired, I have a headache, I got this weird pain in my side(I’m thinking gas.) and I’m slightly nauseated. Complete fabrication? Could be , could be…OR…I could be squealing like a pig in my bed soon for days. I have all but pumped Purell down my throat but it’s not really helping. I never run a fever, so I know if I get one…I probably have it. I am trying not to think about it…I mean this is a weight loss blog for Pete’s sake.
Phew…OK…now that I got that on my chest. Tonight is trivia night. This is the 3rd week in a row that we’ve played so I guess that it is now constituted as a “thing.” I am SO excited…because not ONLY did I make room for a couple of light beers to take the edge off the swine I probably got, I ALSO allotted for potato wedges. Should a potato wedge make me THIS excited? I mean really. I mean, thinking of the sacrifices I have made for these few wedges today, they must be pretty important. I had no morning snack, no cheese or mayo on my sandwich at lunch and IF I have an afternoon snack, it will be grapes that I’m pretty sure are raisins now. So, obviously, these wedges and I need each other. You might be thinking that it is totally wrong to blow all of your points at night because your metabolism slows and yada yada…whatever…my metabolism is higher in the morning because I exercise but after that I sit on my butt all day. It makes no difference. Now, I realize that I shouldn’t eat 2 plums and an apple everyday and then end all my nights with a fat, juicy Baconator from Wendy’s (I literally just got chills) but from time to time it doesn’t hurt to do exceptionally well during the day and then splurge a little at night…it’s not like I didn’t eat. Speaking of the Baconator, I think that what is on that thing totally proves that fast food places want you to be obese. What’s on it? 2, 3 pieces of meat? Cheese…bacon…mayo…ketchup…what’ missing? There is not one vegetable on the whole thing. They aren’t even pretending that there is one healthy aspect of this sandwich. That’s why it’s so good. We were speaking of the Baconators right? That wasn’t a Freudian slip or anything? Because, no lie, it pops up in my head every once in awhile.
Alright, I think that’s all for today. I really can’t focus. What I need is my mother’s cheek on deck so she can tell me if I have a fever or not. She would take care of me if I were sick..but she would also tell me if I wasn’t. I also wanted to clear the air about the profile “about me” info on the side. My Dad think that portrays him in a negative light. My Dad and I have a very honest relationship, but in a good way. We joke with each other about our issues of rotundity. For instance, I broke a chair not too long ago (seriously) and it was funny…I mean he told me not to…the point is, he isn’t mean…that’s just how we are so when I say he says I’m healthy…I don’t have father issues or anything. He just wanted to make sure that people didn’t think that. Until tomorrow…

2 comments:

  1. Just so you know, I will take care of you if you have H1N1 too...but I WILL be wearing a surgical mask. Another great blog! We're going to kick ass tonight in trivia! And...for some reason I want some Wendy's REAL bad right now! :)

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  2. Just an FYI a Baconator has 6 pieces of bacon on it. Funny one today.
    Mom

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