Friday, September 11, 2009

Side Boobs & Camel Toes...An Ugly Truth

Yesterday I thought I would do my part in stimulating the economy and went shopping at lunch. I first went to the hub for fashionably large clothes: Lane Bryant. Most of the time I find their clothes too expensive and yesterday was no exception. I tried on a dress that was down a size and it fit so I was going to get it even though I have 457 black dresses but changed my mind at the last minute and decided to do a bra fitting. I have never actually had one of these before. Luckily, I’m not a modest person because she was all up in my grill. I have never worn a bra that was over a size C. When I got bigger, I just increased the band size and called it a day. When she measured me, she measured me a size down on the band and said, “OK…looks like you are a double D.” I laughed in her face. I was like, are you sure that doesn’t include side boob? There is a distinct difference between side boob and front boob. When you go out on the town you put your bra on, you bend over and pull from the depths of your side boob and bring those things to the front. I didn’t know that they counted that. I told her I had padding and that I just thought she was wrong. I ended up with a “D” as some sort of compromise because she said my current bra was doing “nothing for the girls.” So, I felt confident in my new fitted rack and thought it necessary to buy 4 bras so I spent 100 dollars at lunch.
After that, I went to Old Navy and decided I was feeling brave and tried on their biggest size pants they had…guess what? THEY BUTTONED! I’m not saying I didn’t have a camel toe…because I did…but in a few weeks I might be able to wear them for real. I’m all for tiny victories. I am sort of in between sizes and I need some winter clothes but I’m so cheap. Luckily, it doesn’t get that cold here so I can get away with skirts for a little while longer. I have been on the hunt for a cute shirt to wear out but I’m not having any luck and I need to lose probably 30 more pounds before I feel comfortable in a fitted extra large…so I will hold out for all that. Since I had a lot of weight to lose, 31 pounds is a good start but I have never been comfortable in tight clothes so I don’t plan on starting now…I am trying to be patient. I have ALMOST gotten down to the weight I was BEFORE I lost 40 pounds on the Atkins diet so…I’ve got awhile.
I have a very busy weekend planned. I am eating with my parents tonight, riding to Huntsville with my friend Whitney to pick up her baby (the little one stayed with Whitney’s in-laws for a few days), going to the football game tomorrow night, church Sunday morning, Chuck E. Cheese Sunday afternoon for a 3 year old's birthday party and then dinner at my parents Sunday night. I’m pretty sure you didn’t need the run down but sometimes it helps to lay it out there.
Also, I don’t know when she will read this or if she is too busy but I wanted to give my friend Stacey a shout out because I have respect for anyone that can be a stay at home mom with a newborn and a 3 year old. Both of her children are adorable and awesome but I get a taste of what the reality can be from time to time and it’s tough…so I got crazy respect for you Stacey…Let me know if I can help even though I desperately lack maternal instinct. :)

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